HOPELESSLY MIDWESTERN CUISINE

When I was thinking about starting this blog, I told someone it was about cuisine for the hopelessly midwestern. So how do you know if you're hopelessly midwestern?

Hopelessly Midwestern
By Joel Mabus


If you live life in the middle and not on the edge -
You're hopelessly midwestern.
If a big Saturday means clipping the hedge -
You're hopelessly midwestern.
If you shop at Sears, drink a lot of iced tea,
You like to dance the polka and watch TV,
Then the jury is in and the critics agree -
You're hopelessly midwestern.

[Chorus] Hopelessly Midwestern - cornfed boys and girls
Hopelessly Midwestern - square pegs in this
big round world.
Now, you can go from sea to shining sea,
But right in the middle - that's the place to be,
And if you like it like that, you're a lot like me -
You're hopelessly midwestern.

If you wish every highway could be flat and straight -
You're hopelessly midwestern.
If you still think sushi looks a lot like bait -
You're hopelessly midwestern.
You like your potatoes mashed, your chicken fried,
Your green beans boiled and your apples pied,
And you ain't trusted nothing since Rock Hudson died,
You're hopelessly midwestern.
[Chorus:]

If annual rainfall is a real hot topic -
You're hopelessly midwestern.
And if the Pocono Mountains sound kind of exotic -
You're hopelessly midwestern.
If you like Gerald Ford almost as much as you like Betty,
And a big corn field looks mighty pretty,
And you'd rather go to hell than to New York City,
You're hopelessly midwestern.

[Chorus]

Hopelessly... Impossibly... Irreparably Midwestern.